Adopting an Older Child through Foster Care

In my latest video, I was inspired by a comment made by a new viewer last week on my channel. Monica said that she is not interested in fostering children who come and go, but rather she wants to provide a permanent family for a child or sibling group who are already legally free for adoption and will never be able to return home.

I love hearing about people like Monica! There are so many wonderful children in foster care through no fault of their own who need a family to be with them for the rest of their lives.

As I thought about what Monica and others like her might expect when they adopt an older child (over age five), I came up with the following. Be sure the watch the video, where I went into a lot more detail!

  • The first parent(s), a.k.a. bio mom, a.k.a. birth mom, will be present in your lives forever, whether or not you ever see them again.
  • It’s important that an older child in foster care be part of any conversations about adoption as early as possible and to have a say in whether or not they are adopted by your family.
  • It’s important to learn about where a child is at developmentally and to support that, while finding age-appropriate ways to bond with them.
  • Make sure you have opportunities to be alone in the car together (or going for a walk). That’s when the most important conversations with older kids and teens take place!
  • Never B.S. an older child or teen (or any child for that matter!) Be honest and transparent with them. It’s vital to building trust.

There is so much more I could have said about adopting an older child through foster care. But these are the things that felt most important to share today.

Are you a foster-adoptive parent who adopted an older child through foster care? What would you add to what I’ve shared here?

One thought on “Adopting an Older Child through Foster Care

  1. Maggi says:

    I love everything about this video! We just got our Foster care license last week and are anxiously awaiting our first placement. I am terrified of taking in older children mainly because of how it could impact my 13 year-old son. After watching your video, My mindset has changed. Thank you for your all of your videos! They sure have helped to ease my mind on this journey. You have said what I’m thinking on more than one occasion. I especially loved the part about Older kids being good BS detectors.

    Liked by 1 person

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