Everyone needs a “foster parent friend” — someone you can go to if you’re thinking of becoming a foster parent. I’m that friend (or friend-of-a-friend) for many people, which means I have a lot of conversations with people who are thinking of becoming foster parents. Each time I do, I find myself coming back to these five questions. They are *so* important. If you are considering becoming a foster parent, I encourage you to think through these questions before you take the next step:

1. Am I hoping to adopt?

2. How do I plan to support reunification?

3. How prepared am I to foster a child transracially?

4. What supports do I have in place?

5. How will becoming a foster parent affect everyone in my household?

In this video, I unpack each of these questions a little bit in an effort to help folks think carefully about who, when, how, and whether to foster.

Just tonight, I spent an hour on the phone with a couple who just got licensed a week ago and have already fielded two calls for “medically fragile infants.” They both work full-time and wanted to discuss the realities of fostering someone who might need more from them than they can give in this current season.

We talked about the challenges and blessings of fostering children in all stages of childhood, and what that looks like when you’re also juggling full-time employment. We also discussed specifics about fostering a baby in withdrawal, and I referred them to my online resource, “Foster Parenting Babies with Neonatal Abstinence Syndrome,” something I created in partnership with Monica Simmons, PICU Nurse and co-founder of Premier Baby Planners. (This resource is part of The Flourishing Foster Parent and is available here.) I tried to be as honest and straightforward as I could; I don’t think it helps anyone to go into foster parenting ignorant of the unique challenges they will face.

I offered my best insights, and after our conversation, I got a text: “Talking to you, getting the honest lowdown is exactly what we wanted and needed and more helpful than anyone we’ve talked to so far. THANK YOU!!”

That’s what I’m here for, and it’s what I aim to do with every resource I created and every coaching call I host.

I offer a lot of free content here and on my YouTube channel, because I want to help others who are on this foster parenting journey. That said, I also want to be available to those who need to get on the phone with “a foster parent friend.” If you would like to go deeper and schedule a one-on-one coaching call with me, you can do that here.

No one should feel like they’re going at it alone.